Amazing movable city on rails

 

Imagine a city in motion, where not a single building is anchored to the ground, with hotels, event halls and other structures all on rails and movable at will. That’s the vision behind ‘A Rolling Master Plan‘, a concept for the Norwegian city of Andalsnes by Swedish architects Jägnefält Milton. Both existing and new railway systems would be used to reconfigure the town for seasonal changes and special events.

Lindsay Hayward the tallest women in the USA

This 23-year-old blonde Lindsay Hayward  is one of the tallest women in the USA and in the world. Lindsay Hayward is 6’9″ tall. Her weight is 240 pounds. She can easily spin a man over her head before throwing him across the room. Lindsay’s fans know her as professional wrestler, Isis who can leg press an astonishing 50st.

World's Shortest Man

Edward Nino Hernandez of Bogota, Colombia has been named by the Guinness Book of World Records as the shortest man in the world. The 24-year-old Hernandez is 27 inches (70 cm) tall and weighs only 22 pounds. The previous record holder was He Pingping of China, who was slightly taller than Hernandez and died last March. Hernandez is currently working as a actor in a Colombian film in which he plays a “drug thug.”

But Edward Nino Hernandez is going to hold this title only until Oct. 14, when the world's shortest living teen, Khagendra Thapa Magar of Nepal turns 18. He is even shorter - 22 in (56 cm).

Wet Monday in the Ukraine

Wet Monday is an annual event held in the Ukrainian city of Lviv. Known as an ancient tradition, in central-European countries like Poland and the Czech Republic, Wet Monday appears to be very popular in Ukraine, as well. It takes place on the second day of Easter

Mooning of the Amtrack Train

On every second Saturday of July, people gather outside the Mugs Away Saloon, in Laguna Niguel, California, for the annual Mooning of the Amtrack.

Known also as the Mooning of the Train, this tradition dates back to 1979. Legend has it it all started when a rich person walked into the bar and promised free drinks to anyone with enough balls to show their naked behinds to the passing Amtrak train.

This year around 1,000 people attended the mooning and a great time doing so. there were no incidents, unlike last year, when many of the 8,000 mooners got intoxicated in public and the festivities had to be shut down.

The trains are mostly full when they pass by the Mugs Away Saloon and the conductors even slow down so the passengers can really enjoy the view.

Yoga Cats 2010 Calendar

To compete the yoga dogs some cats joined the team of professional photographer Dan Borris and his wife Alejandra and pose in various yoga style to create a stretching 2010 calendar that is sure to claw its way into the affections of animal lovers everywhere. Stretching into impossible poses these photogenic felines could be the most relaxed cats of all time. The poses were created using a mixture of real photographs and some Photoshop magic.

Scott Hove's cakeland

Cakeland is a sculptural installation in Oakland, created to look like a delicious collection of cakes. Featuring cakes placed on tables, stacked on top of other cakes, mounted on walls and even hanging from the ceiling, Cakeland literally looks like heaven for sweet addicts. But alas Scott Hove’s cakes are anything but edible. Unlike the regular treats that last only until celebrations end, Cakeland cakes are made from acrylic, wood and cardboard and will last “as long as the artist or society have the wherewithal to preserve them”.

But that’s not the worst part of our nightmare. In order to protect their delicious beauty, the artists equipped some of the cakes with sharp teeth that act as defense. Hove says “without this aggressive aspect call it the anti-cake– the beauty is vulnerable, transitory, and not to be respected”.

Cakeland is a very interesting place, but unlike Scott Hove who sees it as a pilgrimage site away from the problems of reality, some might consider it torture. After all finding yourself surrounded by seemingly delicious cakes, without the possibility of even tasting them can be a grueling experience.

Catwalk Fails - When Models Fall

Here is a compilation of models falling on the catwalk. It’s not easy to walk on high heel shoes and it’s common that models fall because of it. Pretty embarrassing but they don’t give up.

$10 is $10

$10 is $10
One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, “Martha, I think I really should try that.” Martha replies, “I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10.” So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.

Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, “Martha, I’m 70 now, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane.” Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation…

The pilot pipes up, “Excuse me folks, I couldn’t help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you. I’ll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I’ll give the ride for free. But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each.” Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride.

The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins. No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, “Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn’t make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff.” Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!”

Beer and Ice Cream Diet

Justification for beer and Ice cream! But stay away from the pizza!

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.

For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average desser tportion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamiclaw, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized.

Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories.

Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat,the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal.

This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.

Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.

Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.

We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.

Happy eating!

The Young Assistant

The Young Assistant
In France, the young assistant priests do not live in the main rectory. That is reserved for the priest and his housekeeper. One day the priest invited his new young assistant priest to have dinner at the rectory. While being served, the young priest noticed how shapely and lovely the housekeeper was and down deep in his heart he wondered if there was more between the priest and the housekeeper.
After the meal was over, the middle-aged priest assured the young priest that everything was purely professional...that she was the housekeeper and cook and that was that. About a week later the housekeeper came to the priest and said, "Father, ever since the new assistant came for dinner I have not been able to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he took it, do you?" The priest said, "Well, I doubt it but I'll write him a letter."
So he sat down and wrote, "Dear Father, I'm not saying you did take the gravy ladle and I'm not saying you did not take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that it has been missing since you were here for dinner."
The young assistant received the letter and he answered it as follows: "Dear Father priest, I'm not saying that you do sleep with the housekeeper and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with the housekeeper. But I do know for sure that if you slept in your own bed you would find the gravy ladle."

Q: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

Anderson Consultant:

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Disadvantages of a HMO

Three nurses died and went to Heaven, where they were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter.To the first, he asked, "So, what did you used to do back on Earth? Why do you think you should be allowed to come into Heaven?""I was a nurse at an inner city hospital," she replied. "I worked to bring healing and peace to many sufferers, especially poor, helpless children."Very noble," said St. Peter. "You may enter."And in through the Gates she went.To the next, he asked the same question, "So, what did you used to do?""I was a nurse at a missionary hospital in the Amazon basin," she replied. "For many years, I worked with a skeleton crew of doctors and nurses who tried to reach out to as many people across numerous tribes, with a hand of healing and peace, and with the message about God`s love.""How touching," said St. Peter. "You, too, may enter."And in she went.He then came to the last nurse, to whom he asked, "So, what did you used to do back on Earth?"After some hesitation, she explained, "I was just a nurse at an HMO."St. Peter pondered this for a moment, and then said, "Ok, you may enter, too.""Whew!" said the nurse. "For a moment there, I thought you weren`t going to let me in.""Oh, you can come in," said St. Peter, "but you can only stay for three days."

Little Johnny

Little Johnny
Little Johnny was sitting one day on a dock. Along came a preacher and sat down beside him. Little Johnny had a mason jar full of what looked like water and he was turning it over and over, watching the bubbles float through it. The Preacher asked, "What are you doing with that water?" Little Johnny studied the contents of the jar for a moment, then explained, "Preacher, this here is turpentine. It's the strongest liquid in the world." The preacher replied, "Son, Holy water is the strongest liquid in the world. Did you know if you rub a little Holy water on a pregnant woman's belly, she will pass a baby boy?" Little Johnny thought about this one for a minute, and then remarked, "Nope, this here turpentine is still the strongest because if you rub it on a cat's ass, it can pass a speeding car!"

The motorcylist

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and along with the motorcycle, dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him, and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife used some paper towels to blot up the gasoline, and threw them in the toilet. The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home. After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband laying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance. The same ambulance crew was dispatched. While they were going down the stairs to the street, accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.

Air force one and the farmer

Air force one and the farmer

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken, the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed, with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President's staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man's actor. "Sir," the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did." The man muttered unconcernedly. "Do you realize that is the President of the United States' airplane?" "Yep." "Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped. "Nope. They's all kilt straight out." The farmer sighed cutting of his tractor motor. "I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning." "The President of the United States is DEAD?" The agent gulped in disbelief. "Yep, he kept a-saying he wasn't ... but you know what a liar he is!"

Pub Game Idiot

Last Boxing Day (that's the day after Xmas for those who don't have one) I was in a local bar with three of my friends. I don't smoke myself, but the others all did and one of them, Porky, showed us this bar game. You take a box of matches and pierce the top of it with one unlit match, so that this match sticks vertically up out of the top (i.e. the only side that doesn't have contact with the drawer underneath so that it can still open and close). The challange is to take the box in your hand and with just that one hand open the box, take out a match, light it and then light the match on top with the match you have just struck.Turned out the hardest bit was getting the match struck with enough force to ignite it but not so much that it carries on and you burn yourself in the palm of the hand (try it and you'll see what I mean!). So me, Porky and one of the other guys had been sitting trying this for about fifteen minutes but mostly kept burning ourselves. Then Toomba, the guy who up to this point had just been watching, decided he would have a go. We were happy to sit back and nurse our burns while he took a blast at it. So, he takes the box in his hand and pokes it open with a finger. He then takes a match out WITH HIS OTHER HAND and procedes to do it and then gloat at his "success" assuming our astonished faces were because his genius brain had cracked it - ignore the "do it with one hand" bit!

Euro English

Euro English

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's govt conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish": -- In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaiining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

A Lawyer's Question

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"

Santa statistics

No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are roughly 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified. While most of these are insects and germs, this does not rule out flying reindeer - though Santa and my uncle Ralph, in his drinking days, are the only people who've ever seen one. There are two billion children (small people under the age of 18) in the world. But since Santa doesn't (appear to) handle most non-Christian children, that reduces the workload to about 15 per cent of the total (roughly 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau). At a rate of say, 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good kid in each. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. That's 822.6 visits per second. For each eligible household, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, put presents under the tree, eat any snacks, kiss mommy when available, get back up the chimney, hop in the sleigh and move on. Assuming each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth, we're now talking about 0.78 miles per household - a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to let Santa and the reindeer do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours. This means Santa's sleigh moves at 650 miles per second, or 3,000 times the speed of sound. The fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles a second (a conventional reindeer, by the way, can run 15 miles per hour, tops). Assuming each child gets nothing more that a medium-sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting overweight Santa. Conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting flying reindeer could pull 10 times the normal amount, Santa would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload (not counting the sleigh) to 353,430 tons, or four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth II. 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles a second creates enormous air resistance, which would heat the reindeer to incandescence in the same fashion as spacecraft or meteors entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms. The entire team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500.06 gravities. A 250-pound Santa (a wee bit of an underestimate) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. The Internet originator's conclusion to the above: "If Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now."