Saturday, September 26, 2009

10 Vainest Celebrities

Celebrities are a narcissistic breed who tend to value themselves above most. Obsessed with their bodies and worldly assets and terrified that they one day will loose them, many take out quite interesting insurance policies*. We have concluded a list of ten celebs that have done just that.

10. Tom Jones’s chest hair - $7,000,000

Let’s use the 10th place in this top list to clarify one thing: The rumor that music artist and granny-lover Tom Jones had his chest hair insured for $7 million is false. The story has gotten immense attention and space online and even got picked up by larger news sites such as AOL, Fox News and New York Daily News. It is time to put an end to this urban legend.
Special insurance agency Lloyd’s of London confirms being approached with such a request but declines it ever coming from Mr. Jones. However, a little uninsured chest hair definitely deserves a spot in this top list.

9. Rod Stewart’s rusty voice - $6,000,000

What if Stewart’s throat finally healed and his voice changed from rusty to silky smooth? Music artist Rod Stewart must have dreaded this scenario as he has had his voice insured to a total value of $6 million. In the unfortunate event that something actually does happen to Stuey’s voice, at least he no longer has to eat chalk. And with his insurance money he can always buy Bob Dylan.

8. Dolly Parton’s bust - $600,000

Country singer and all American sweet heart, Dolly Parton is not only known for her music career, but also for her recent insurance claims. Making sure her bust is safely insured, Parton has taken out a policy of no less than $300,000, per breast.

7. Jennifer Lopez’s rear - $27,000,000

Perhaps one of the most famous celebrity insurance cases is Jennifer Lopez’s behind. A staggering $27 million: That’s how much Mrs. Lopez butt cost to insure. For you math geeks that’s $100,000 per square inch.

6. America Ferrera’s teeth - $10,000,000

Who would have guessed? Ugly Betty actress America Ferrera turned out to be simply gorgeous. Finally free from those awful rails, Ferrera did not wait long to insure her teeth. $10,000,000 is a fair price for a million dollar smile, don’t you agree?

5. Mariah Carey’s legs - $1,000,000,000

Safe to say, the most expensive pair of legs on this planet. Winning Gillette Venus Vibrance Legs of a Goddess competition in 2005, Carey was quick to secure her two bearing assets for up to $1 billion.

4. Gene Simmons’s tongue – $1,000,000

When extending his tongue surgically Kiss vocalist and music genius Gene Simmons did the responsible thing: He insured it. Being both a trademark of the band and for Simmons himself, that tongue was probably well worth insuring. But I bet his insurance agent was surprised.

3. Keith Richards’s middle finger – $1,600,000

Fearing that his foes will break his middle finger he so often use to flip them off, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has had it insured. No really, Richards probably just figures that the finger making all that sweet music on the guitar deserves its own $ 2 million policy.

2. Shirley MacLaine’s fear of UFO Abduction - $25


Alien abduction insurance actually exists. It is offered by a handful of agencies around the country and currently include over 20,000 policy holders. Since the chance of being abducted by aliens is seemingly small and proving it almost impossible, these policies normally cost little and pay out a lot. American actress Shirley MacLaine reportedly has her own UFO abduction policy – just in case.

1. David Lee Roth’s semen - $1,000,000

Topping the list of unusual celebrity insurance claims is no other than Van Halen’s own David Lee Roth. As his music career took off, Roth did what any rock star would do. He got his semen insured. It is however unclear whether the $1 million insurance policy will act as a refund if Roth by mistake gets one of his groupies pregnant or if it is to work more like a giant million dollar condom.
One suggestion if Roth was looking for ways to prevent pregnancy would be to bring Tom Jones on tour and have him up there swinging his hips and snapping his finger to the rhythm. The average age on groupies would increase dramatically, and so decrease the chance of band members engaging in  intercourse and/or impregnation.








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